On The Shore...

This month's Calendar Challenge inspiration comes from waiting around for hours for something to happen - also known as fishing.

I went fishing once. I caught a small reef shark off Mission Beach in Queensland (Australia) when I was in my teens and having shrieked with fear and promptly dropped the fishing rod for someone else to deal with, I decided that perhaps the whole waiting patiently deal was not at all worth it.

I played golf once too. Surrounded by advice at the first tee, I wiggled and kept my eye on the ball and swung the club as instructed. And I smacked that little white ball right down the middle of the fairway to achieve a birdie (that's one less than par for the uninitiated). Nothing to this I thought as I collected my ball from the hole. And things went downhill from there, with both my beginner's luck and my patience running out by holes two and five respectively.

Apparently patience is a virtue and good things happen to those who wait.

I tried to apply these guiding principles to skiing in my mid-twenties. I'd been when I was twelve and after three days of valiant effort graduated to the next class, promptly hurt my ankle and spent quite some time sitting in the snow waiting for help and then sitting around the chalet waiting for everyone else to come back. I was twenty-five before the opportunity arose again (how's that for patience!) and this time it only took an hour before it was ski-do to the rescue again.

So I've decided that there are times when it's infinitely preferable to be the idiot standing on the shore.

Abu Dhabi, UAE - March 2014

Amsterdam, The Netherlands - October 2013

Cottage Lake, Washington USA - June 2013

Paris, France - May 2013

Frankston, Australia - January 2013

Langkawi, Malaysia - December 2012

And let me tell you, waiting on the shore is absolutely fine with me.

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Calendar Challenge 2014 - Back Catalogue
Keep Calm And Carry On
Sour Grapes
Water Water Everywhere

Under Fire...

I went to the movies last night and saw one of the best ads I've seen in a long time.

A sensitive subject well-handled (pardon the pun) I thought.

Hope this lit up your day and kindled a little Tuesday chortle.

ps...okay the fire puns are finished now...normal service is resumed.

On Bored Shopping...

Over the past year I have broadened my travel horizons to include several domestic flights in the USA and thus have discovered the delights of SkyMall. SkyMall is a quarterly magazine that can be found in the seat pockets on the majority of US domestic flights and allows passengers to shop online for a wide variety of items.

Having spent some time in airline retail during my career, I decided to have a flick through to see how things worked on the other side of the pond. Not for American passengers the high notes of the latest fragrances, the glittering array of designer watches and jewellery and the select range of premium travel accessories that I am used to considering in flight. No, you can buy a whole lot of other stuff on SkyMall. 

Where do I start?  

There's furniture, lots of furniture - lamps, shelves, couches, tables, collapsible beds, bedroom suites and even a bidet sprayer for your bathroom (although I am not sure that this qualifies so much as furniture). 

There are various brands of shape wear to help you hold your 'bits' in a more preferred position. There are items designed to remedy everything from bad breath and skin tags to plantar fasciitis and sleep apnea. And there's even a whole swag of stuff for your pets - 291 items in fact.

I had a bit of time on my hands while they were de-icing the various planes I sat on a few weeks back so I got to know this chaotic catalogue quite well and thought I'd share a few of my favourites with you.

Mounted Squirrel Head - $24.95.

Yes I know. It's a rather random choice to begin with. But it did remind me of all of us sitting around waiting, waiting, waiting for flights to arrive and depart. There were a few faces in the boarding queues that looked a lot like this.

Write On Travel Map - $149.95

I love this. It combines my two of my great passions - scribbling and dreaming. Dreaming about where I might like to go next in the world and scribbling stuff down so I don't forget that I thought about it in the first place. However it does seem that the little people of this world may be consigned to exploring the Southern hemisphere only.

Talking Dog Collar - $29.95

You record a message on the dog collar and activate it remotely - and you can change the message as often as you like. A day at the park suddenly took on a whole new lustre and I had a little chortle at the prospect of unsettling passers-by with a little pooch chatter, a bit like the old Candid Camera shows. I could see myself enjoying this for hours and hours...if I had a dog.

Hawaiian JellysTM - $39.95

There were a few offerings throughout the catalogue that claimed to ease a range of foot ailments (a particular bug bear of mine) but the range of Hawaiian JellysTM got my vote for sheer inventiveness. You could start with the tropical - Papaya, Mango, Lychee, Dragon Fruit or Coconut - branch out into a little Mysore Raspberry or Chuo Ume Plum or even scale new heights with Kilauea Volcano or Aouli Sky. America, land of the free and home of the endless choice.

40" Foldable Photo Studio - $199.95

We actually have something similar in the office and it saves a whole lot of bother when it comes to getting product shots done. Might be a little more difficult to do head shots though.

Speaking of head shots I just had to show you this one.

The Zombie of Montclaire Moors - $99.95

Why? Just why would anyone buy this?

Or this for that matter.

SPAM Costume - $70.76

(Although after a few more hours sitting on planes I may have done just about anything to relieve the boredom!)

And last but not least there was a myriad of t-shirts on offer - these were just a few that made me laugh out loud.

(Seattle-A please note the pink box top right, my new mantra for life.)

So this is how I spend my time travelling...marvelling at the weird and wonderful and generally just keeping myself amused. 

After all, there's only so much 'cultural exploration' a girl can take.

Image Source: all images are taken directly from the SkyMall.com website.

Sour Grapes...

It's the 1st of February. Where did January go for heavens sake? It's only just begun and the year is already whizzing by.

As promised, with the heralding of the new month comes the next installment of the 2014 Calendar Challenge and February's funny finds inspiration in the language of our childhood...

Image Source: Simon Drew's Famous Phrases Calendar 2014

Now come on admit it. Your pre-school world was full of moo-cows and baa-lambs wasn't it...

Anyway the sketch of these woolly warmers gassing over a vino or two reminds me that today is National Pisco Sour Day.

I know. Who knew?

Pisco is a powerful grape brandy created by both the Peruvians and the Chileans and forms the basis of the potent Pisco Sour cocktail. Each nation has a slightly different recipe but Peru pay homage to their national tipple on the first Saturday in February - today. And if you are in London, the kind folk at Londonist have published a list where you can sample the best/most authentic manifestations of this South American delight - just click here. If not, you'll have to google your own list.

I first discovered the joys of pisco during a girls night out at the then newly opened Ceviche Peruvian Bar and Kitchen in London about 18 months ago but rather than sour grapes, it was passion that I found at the bar. Or rather Pasion de Ceviche: A delicious blend of ginger-infused pisco, passionfruit juice, prickly pear liqueur and honey that was so smooth and delicious I had four that night, firstly transferring from an early allegiance to Toro Mata (a cocktail combo of coffee, pisco and sugar syrup) and then duly convincing my three cocktail-ing compatriots to join me.

Unsurprisingly sour grapes were in short supply at our table that night.

Note to self: Must go back. Soon.

In other alcoholic news, just yesterday Lil Chicky posted this on Facebook...

 Buy this at http://www.flaschengeist.com.au/

It's chocolate port...in a glass shoe-boot. 

*Excited squealing*

What's a girl to do? It's just leading this 'sweet' Aussie lamb to alcoholic slaughter.

Baaa-mmer hey...

Keep Calm And Carry On...

Gidday peeps and welcome to 2014. I hope you found something to celebrate and be inspired by as one year ended and another began.

In between getting out and about, I've been sorting stuff at Gidday HQ over a restorative nine days off before facing my first day back at work on January 2nd. And life's bright shiny distractions meant that a further two days passed before my first 2014 post. 

So here I am at last -  better late than never - four days in.

Today has been a bit of a personal maintenance day (the ladies out there will know exactly what I mean - looking good takes a little effort) but the other important thing on my to-do list was to find Gidday HQ's 2014 calendar. I had ventured out a couple of times over the Christmas period in an effort to have something ready to go come January 1st but had not found anything sufficiently inspiring, heart-warming or engaging to take pride of place on my fridge...

...until today.

This is part of the front cover of the Simon Drew's Famous Phrases calendar.  You can probably see why I was drawn to it...hic!

Anyway, each of his sketches is accompanied by a particularly witty twist on a well-known phrase. This one was also on the cover...

Core Jets / courgettes...geddit?

Anyway, it made me laugh in the shop so I bought it and brought it home, filled in all of the important dates and events I already know about and stuck it on the side of the fridge. And to celebrate its comic contribution here at Gidday HQ, I thought I'd take on the Calendar Challenge again, last seen in 2012 and featuring the irreverent bunch from Violent Veg. 

The Calendar Challenge means publishing a post on the first day of each month using the corresponding calendar page from that month as my theme/inspiration. And look at this, it's the 4th and I'm late already. But January has some good advice...

...although I'm not sure who 'Ron' is.

Anyway, I reckon there's only one thing left to do - let's get stuck in to 2014 and see what happens. 

Hope you enjoy the ride.

Brand Santa...

There are 13 sleeps to go until Christmas Day (12 if you've just woken up Down Under)...

...and the Gidday HQ stash is looking good under the verdant boughs of my un-real - aka plastic - tree. 

Christmas is in full swing on this side of the planet with my first festive do under my belt and a super-busy week ahead as I do more of the necessary yuletide rounds - socialising, dancing and raising a glass or two (oh alright, five) to pay homage to this most wonderful time of the year.

And I've also been keeping my eye out for any clever Christmas chicanery to share.

This morning I was indulging in a quick browse through my Facebook feed before the tube went underground when I found this...

Source: www.quietroom.co.uk

For those of you who don't know, haven't guessed, have never looked up my LinkedIn profile or simply don't care, I work in Marketing. 

(Please note, this makes me a Marketer, not a Marketeer. I didn't go off to some club, wave my arms around and wear black plastic ears to get myself a career.)

But I digress.

The folk at Quietroom have put together this brilliant Santa 'brand book', a fabulous tribute to the fat man in all his glory and a complete p*sstake of marketers everywhere. I chuckled at the brand promise, laughed at the brand house and guffawed at the brand assets being 'geographilised'...and then thought about all the brand books I've worked with over the years.

Well, I guess there's nothing like a little irreverent festive fun to put things in perspective.

13 sleeps to go peeps..time to Snap It Clap It Wrap It.

Sorry, I Spent It On Myself...

Today marks 20 sleeps to go until we all embark on our annual gift-giving frenzy.

(Although those of you in Oz will wake up to only 19 sleeps.)

I know this isn't going to be very Christmas spirited of me but I laughed out loud in the office this morning at the latest in a long line of seasonal shopping plugs. This is from London 'posh shop' Harvey Nichols...

I was always taught that it was better to give than to receive...

...but then we don't have Harvey Nicks Down Under.

In other news, Lil Chicky wins the 2013 Christmas bonanza with the surprise arrival of an unmarked box at Gidday HQ yesterday...

...which I opened. And then had to apologise and duly promise to wrap said contents up, put under the tree and exclaim with surprise and delight on Christmas morning.

Oh the shame! 

(Note: There is no advance present opening in the Hamer Clan - one must always wait for 'the big day'.)

Just as well there are only 20 sleeps until unrestrained receiving Christmas...

The World's Coolest Bottle Opener...

So the big birthday bonanza is on and this year, first card past the post(box) is from Mum.

She's gone for a very practical design this year. Knowing how much I like a vino or two, she's come up with something I've actually been looking for all my life - the perfect bottle opener.

It's a mix of 'easy on the eye' and getting the job done. Style meets pragmatism if you will. 

It's not quite handbag-sized but I could see myself taking it everywhere.

(Although popping my cork on a whim may not be entirely appropriate in every situation.)

Oh what's that?  You'd like to see it?

Well if you must...

Only 13 sleeps to go peeps...NOW I'm excited...

Tis The Season...Pass The Parcel

We are down to just 12 sleeps peeps and in the interests of providing you with a Gidday helping hand, I've come up with a few quirky and slightly questionable gift ideas for your nearest and dearest.

A subject close to my heart is reading so at the top of the shopping list is a little something for the bookworm in your life. Upon opening one of my daily Emerald Street e-newsletters this week, I found this fab booklight. It also holds your book open - you know, while you go a make a coffee or hang out the washing or go to the loo. You get the picture...

Available from Suck UK (yes really) for £40
 

Next it's over to I Want One of Those. Popping in here always yields something unusual and it was a tough choice about which curiosity would inspire you most. But back in November, I lamented the wearing of socks with sandals so this has to be the perfect present for the saddo in your life...and let's face it, everyone has one.


Available on I Want One Of Those for £7.99 (or 3 for £20 - you could knock off 3 saddos in one!)

I've done a fair bit of travelling this year (and it's not over yet!) so my next inspired idea is for the traveller in your life. Cue The Scrubba, a lightweight portable bag which lets you wash on the go. Your clothes that is...

Visit www.thescrubba.com and fork out 59.95 Aussie dollars to Do It (your washing that is) Yourself

Christmas presents of the participative kind are next on the agenda. Imagine, you've stuffed yourself silly with Christmas fare, squeezed in a spot of pud and are looking for something to stop the family snoozing on the sofa. Billed as a 'no holds barred game which stimulates after dinner discussion on controversial subjects of our times amongst friends', After Dinner Arguments could be just the thing to inspire a bit of spirited conversation around your festive table this year...

Available from shinyshack.co.uk, you can get hours of family feuding fun for just £7.99

And finally there is the ultimate in glam grooming: a ridiculous gift at an entirely ridiculous price...

Glam up those tootsies with a Swarovski crystal duck nail brush from Etsy for the bargain price of US$175.

Because couldn't we all use a brush with a duck on it?

12 sleeps to go peeps...can you believe it? Best you get cracking or you'll end up as a late addition on Santa's Naughty List.

Your 2012 Five A Day - December

It's December 1st, the first day of winter (on this side of the planet anyway) and a mere 24 sleeps from the Big Day. The temperature this week has really dropped: it was a brisk -1C when I was standing at the bus stop yesterday morning. I have some present wrapping and a little prep for next week's work Christmas do (at the Banqueting House in Whitehall no less) on my to-do list today. And to my absolute delight, this month's Violent Veg gives a big festive nod to one of my favourite Christmas traditions, carolling.

Seattle-A was in town on Thursday night (it was like a surprise early Christmas present when I got her text message this week) and as I made my way through Richmond train station to meet her, I saw my first set of carol singers for the season. A big group of kids, all rugged up in their vibrant winter woollies, braved the chill to fill the space with joyful tunes and I snatched a brief moment to stand on the stairs and enjoy a little of their festive spirit.

It took me back to Christmasses in Oz where opportunities to belt out a few yuletide tunes seemed to be around every corner, where the point was to join in rather than what you sounded like - probably just as well in my case. This was never about show-pony-ing (I've never been a Karaoke fan) but about sharing a bit of Christmas spirit with a disparate group of people who, in embracing the anonymity provided by the crowd, sang simply because they could.

I particularly remember bouts of Brownie carolling as a youngster in Brisbane in the 70s and another hot sticky evening somewhere in country Victoria in my early twenties, grown-ups and kids alike sprawled on picnic rugs under the riverside gum trees and a community band playing in the background while everyone sang their hearts out.

And in any of my excited witterings about Christmas (and particularly with Christmas Down Under in my sights), I cannot omit one of Melbourne's most wonderful institutions, Carols by Candlelight, a televised open air concert held at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl every Christmas Eve. I watched this on telly for many years and finally found myself singing along on the grassy slopes under the stars nine years ago just before I moved to London.

These every-man-sings opportunities don't seem to abound in the same way in Old London Town. There are many chances to sit and listen - from The Hallelujah Chorus at St Martin in the Fields and the Christmas Festival at The Albert Hall right through to a myriad of local community events but it seems that spirited audience participation is hard to come by. And as I stood amongst the swirling commuting masses on the stairs on Thursday night, watching those bright young faces, I realised that I missed this little piece of Christmas Past.

So that's another thing to add to the festive to-do list before the fat man in the red suit comes to town. But I've been a good girl (no really I have) and have already ticked one thing off the list this morning...

I do so love Christmas. Only 24 sleeps to go people...I'm excited!

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This post also completes Gidday from the UK's Five A Day series for 2012: 12 posts containing both a whole range of random themes inspired by my merely turning the page each month and the laugh out loud cleverness of my Gidday Guest Stars, the vitamin-rich team from Violent Veg. The back catalog is below for any of you that missed any...I hoped you've enjoyed it.

 

November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

Friday Funny...Bed Pan

Nothing much to say other than this made me laugh out loud when it got circulated at work today...

Haven't we all been here?

I do love a Friday giggle!


ps...there are only 53 sleeps to go til, well you know...

Your 2012 Five A Day - November

Well October, Halloween and British Summer Time are behind us and chilly mornings, darker evenings and cosy nights in are here for the foreseeable future. And both November and this month's Violent Veg pay tribute to a great British tradition.

Bonfire night on the 5th November celebrates the capture of Guy Fawkes, he of the infamous Gunpowder Plot. In 1605, 13 royally disenchanted men planned to blow up the Houses of Parliament and kill King James I. Fawkes was caught below the House of Lords with his fingers in the barrel, so to speak and was taken captive, tortured and executed. To celebrate the safety of their King, the people lit bonfires and burned effigies of Guy Fawkes and in doing so, guaranteed every British kid's expectation of November 5th celebrations - fireworks.

Unfortunately it seems that Eddie's enthusiasm for tradition has been a little misplaced...

This time last year, I was unpacking boxes here at Gidday HQ, hoping to get my new pad sorted before returning to work. I heard the crackle and hiss of local fireworks nearby and upon standing at the back door to check things out, was delighted to find I could watch the lot from the warmth of my new kitchen. Just another Fab Finchley bonus.

Hope you find something that lights your fire this November.

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Five A Day Back catalogue

October
September

August

July
June
May
April
March
February
January

Your 2012 Five A Day - October

Here we are in October and Violent Veg is paying tribute to everyone's favourite Fright Night...

But Halloween is not the only source of fear and trepidation this month.

Lil Chicky will celebrate the last birthday of her thirties in just 18 sleeps. I don't know quite where all the years have gone and quite frankly, I'm a little perturbed that next year, my 'baby sister' will enter the Naughty 40's.
 
The year is now 75% through and the shorter days on this side of the planet herald the end of British Summer Time on October 28th.

And let's not forget in 12 weeks time, we'll all be lying in bed listening for the rooftop patter of eight tiny reindeer...yes I'm afraid Christmas will be on us before we know it.

But in the words of Usman B. Asif:

'Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop.'

So fear not and let's face the month ahead with an anticipation about what unexpected curiosities and delights it might bring.
 
And I hope this month's Halloween thrills don't prove too hair-raising for you.

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Five A Day Back catalogue

September

August

July
June
May
April
March
February
January

Who's The Daddy?

I've mentioned before that my day job means that I come across some pretty interesting, inspiring and often entrepreneurial ideas. Sometimes this happens during my commute, other times they just drop into my Inbox at work, waiting patiently until I take a moment to convert the un-reads to the reads.

I seem to be drawn to the diverse and unusual. Like there's an inbuilt radar for the out of the ordinary, A curiosity for the quirky so to speak. So maybe the job happened as a result of this - like nails to a magnet. The universe provides or something like that.

Anyhow, for a few years I have been subscribing to a fab e-newsletter from springwise.com which provides a daily three-pronged fix for my innovation itch. Springwise uses its global network of some 15,000 Springspotters to find the clever, the quirky and the downright random.

And earlier this month I saw something that made me laugh out loud.


Photo credit: springwise.com

It's a roving Paternity Test!

Apparently you swab on the spot and Bob's your uncle...or maybe even your Dad!

What will they think of next?

(Actually, I'm not sure I want to know...)

Your 2012 Five A Day...September

This month's Five A Day pickled offer from Violent Veg seems more than a little apt given my August of foodie frolicking and wet whistling.

The month started off not so well with the only thing pickled being me as I fought the last vestiges of chickenpox with solitary cake consumption. But things picked up and soon I was off to Barcelona for a little city break with Seattle-A. A social month followed with several long overdue catchups (over drinks naturally), a sojourn at the opera, a Turkish feast (complete with some compulsory participation in the national sport of belly-dancing) and finishing with a little social DIY: painting the town multicultural and then an audit to reinforce the foundations of friendship.

So what multicultural pickling opportunities could possibly be left as we head into Autumn?

Krakow
As you read this I will be enjoying a short break in Krakow. It is higly likely that amid the history and splendor of this medieval town, I am finding a few opportunities to sample a  local beverage or two. Stay tuned for more about my exploits soon.

Seattle
This week I will be enjoying a final London fling with Seattle-A before she and hubster jet off to pastures new. And I'll be booking my first trip to the city of Starbucks - although I expect I'll be looking for beverages of a different kind.

France
I'll be hearing the people sing again on a figurative visit to France as this month I have booked to see Les Miserables. I saw it for the first time when I was 17 and it remains one of my favourite musicals. There might be a tipple or two at intermission.

Fashion
So we move away from potential travels to culture of a different kind: fashion. Ballgowns to be exact. The V&A has an exhibition running, British Glamour since 1950, which features ballgowns and evening dresses galore. And what goes better with posh frocks than a spot of champers?

So that's my pickling month planned peeps...what are you up to?

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Five A Day Back catalogue

August

July
June
May
April
March
February
January

Commuting Gems...The Broad's Hair

During the first part of my commute (which a 15-20 minute trip on the bus), I often use the time to scroll through my emails, clear out the superfluous and read through the balance.

Late last week I came across a forwarded funny that made me laugh out loud...and pretty much look like a dill in front of my early morning commuting brethren.

So at the risk of completely plagiarising someone-I-don't-know's clever story or offending someone's religious sensibilities (you should look away now), I have decided that I should share it.

-----------------------------------------------------------

In a parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, Instructions also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the Truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings:

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?' '

'Of course child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your Robes perhaps?'

                                        

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father.

Next please!'

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Hope this made you laugh out loud too.

Your 2012 Five A Day...August

Well, the 1st August heralds the end of year number 42 for yours truly. No more counting down, no more sleeps to go. It has arrived so first up, it's a Happy Birthday to me!

There's much else to celebrate in August. The Olympics have begun in earnest and I've been cheering on the green and gold. The Opening Ceremony was quirkily British and aside from that inordinately weird section with all the beds, I loved watching it. And what a tribute to future sporting generations that torch lighting ceremony was - absolutely brilliant. I may have even welled up a little.

Back at Gidday HQ, I'm still quarantined and starting to go a little stir crazy - although at least I'm sleeping through the night now and my appetite has returned a little despite the aches, pains and general unattractiveness of my affliction.

And last but certainly not least, this month's Violent Veg introduces us to Brian, of the Parsnip variety. After Colin Carrot's heart-thumping exploits in June and July (you can see the Violent Veg Back Catalogue at the end of this post), Brian reminds us to enjoy some gentler pursuits this Summer...

But quite frankly this is now Day 7 of *tranquility* so even with the promise of a little tackle-nibbling, I think there'll be no such standing still for me.

Here's to throwing oneself in the deep end this August.

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Five A Day Back catalogue

July

June
May

April

March
February
January